Saturday, January 01, 2011

1-1-11

The numbering of our days is usually just an interesting factoid to me.
The first day of this millennium struck me, but I was so much younger then...
Today I woke up thinking that this was truly a fresh new slate. All ones - what could be clearer? Being a writer, there's nothing like page one in the next magazine or book staring at me to remind me of all the possibilities and opportunities that are waiting to unwind. Sometimes, those possibilities and opportunities are golden. Sometimes they are dark journeys, and we have no choice but to step in and begin. Sometimes we don't realize we could choose another path until it is too late. Life is funny that way.
2010 was a most unusual year, and I'm sure someday I will see the humor of it. So often as the weeks ticked by, I found myself murmuring, "it was the best of times... it was the worst of times..." from:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

There were amazing, wonderful things that fell into my lap with no effort on my part, and there were devastating losses that came out of nowhere and caught me in a riptide that slammed me repeatedly against rocky shores.
From 2010, I learned that the illusion we carry about having control over our lives is but a shimmery veil that is blown aside by the slightest breeze. Thanks 2010, I needed that. I guess...
So happily, I step out of that year, close the door, and walk into this brand new 1-1-11, the FIRST day of the rest of my life. I no longer kid myself about having control over anything except my reactions. That isn't cynicism. It's freedom.
We sat last night and brainstormed about new things to try this year, new ways to do things, and dared ourselves to take some risks. No resolutions - just newness, believing in what we've built so far, and helping to make those things grow.
I am excited to get this ball rolling!

4 comments:

TMCPhoto said...

how true about 2010 for me as well as my family. We had some amazing ups and some ferocious downs and like you we're headed into 2011 with a better sense of where our control lies.

Anonymous said...

Love the veil analogy. I've used a similar one with my 16 yr old; the steel around the car is but an illusion of protection.

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